Science has spoken: ending a text with a full stop makes you a monster

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Ending your text messages with a full stop, science has confirmed, is against God and against nature. A Binghamton University research team found that text messages ending in the most final of punctuation marks – eg “lol.”, “let’s go to Nando’s.”, “send nudes.” – are perceived as being less sincere.

On the flip side, texts ending in an exclamation point – “lmao!”, “just a cheeky one!”, “what body part even is that? I hope it’s your arm!” – are deemed heartfelt, more profound. Yes: the high revolving sound you hear is the rules of English grammar spinning up to G-force speed in the grave in which they lay, but otherwise this seems like a win. Full stops on the ends of text messages are proven to be exclusively for either the psychotic or dads with new Nokias.

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